Thought of the Day 10.13.08

We recently noticed our four-year-old misbehaving more than usual and also failing to good-behave as much as he should. So, after discussing it, we made a chart for the refrigerator with good and bad behaviors and started keeping score, giving smiley faces and a reward for each day with more good than bad.

Here’s what happened. At first it was just monitoring to get a realistic picture of where he stood. Then we’d remind him about marks on the chart when appropriate. But in just the last few days, something extraordinary has happened: he has actually begun initiating the good behaviors himself and reminding us to give him a good mark.

See, we knew he thrived on approval. And this insight paired with a simple flick of the pen has worked where corporal discipline, scolding, and time-outs had all failed. And though we obviously want him to eventually do the behaviors for their own sake, we also understand that he has to get accustomed to the taste of virtue before he will ever start ordering the dish for himself.