Thought of the Day 10.10.08

I’ve read dozens of books on how to be a good husband and tried every suggestion they contain. But you know what I found out? Women hate to feel manipulated. They don’t like to participate in relationships that feel like transactions.

So when I bring flowers or give candy or write poetry or give backrubs, there can’t be even the faintest whiff of the idea that I’m doing this in order to make her more willing to do the things I desire. Unfortunately, there’s an entire marital advice industry built around teaching spouses how to be superior manipulators in precisely this way. All I know is that my wife can smell a negotiation from a mile off. And if I do things for this reason, I lose ground with her.

But if I do loving things simply to bless her, expecting nothing in return, then, ironically, it actually does make her want to do more for me. So I guess women are sort of like God. Who would have guessed?