TOD 01.29.08

I was recently having a conversation with someone about how we deal with other people, and she said that she admires me for being willing to tell people what I really believe, even if I know they’re likely to disagree with me. I told her that it’s easy to be brave on the radio, but I also said that sometimes withholding our opinions can be a much more effective tactic than freely sharing them.

It depends on the situation and how well I know someone, plus silence is an excellent alternative to vain dogmatizing based on pride rather than love of the other person. But ultimately, we can deceive ourselves by thinking we’re building up enough credit for those important moments of influence which never actually occur. Instead, honesty along the way guarantees influence because people will respect you if they know you tell the truth.

Even if it’s unpleasant for them to hear it, most people have a built-in respect for truth. As the Bible says, “He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue.” (Proverbs 28:23)