TOD 01.28.08

My dad says that one of the most important ideas he ever acquired was that the best way to understand a society is by observing the questions it doesn’t even think of asking. That a concept is just missing from the intellectual vocabulary of a culture says more about it than even if it had answered the question incorrectly. I recently stumbled across one of these while doing a program about the benefits of having grandparents around.

Since the tremendous benefits to children of being able to see their grandparents regularly are so obvious, it shocked me to realize that no one ever asks, “What are the moral obligations of grandparents?” The reason we don’t ask is because such a question verges dangerously close to criticizing them. Obviously, if we start listing obligations, then it’s possible that not all grandparents satisfy them. Specifically, “Are grandparents morally obligated to stay near their children?”

Our society already makes the mistake of telling older people their goal in life should be to stop being productive. Why do we also seem to think that the best way to lead and guide their descendants is for them to move to another state when they retire? We’d never endure someone forcing such a separation. Why is it any less a problem when done voluntarily?