TOD 01.04.08

We all judge others. Contrary to what some people say, this is natural, and the more you try to stop judging, the more deeply into self-hatred you will sink. It’s as futile as trying to eliminate hunger or sexual desire. Just as with those other drives, the key to handling the judgment impulse is learning how to indulge wisely rather than foolishly.

Instead of merely following our appetites, we learn to satisfy them according to good principles. We replace immature judgments, like those based on race or beauty, with mature ones, like those based on competence or integrity. Sometimes we even set aside legitimate judgments because of more important concerns, such as befriending sinners or forgiving people.

For my own part, I have had to learn to judge people not by whether they share my beliefs, but by whether we can talk with each other. I learned to stop making agreement the price of admission to my companionship. Such a price is simply too high for the people God wants me to love.