Thought of the Day 09.22.08

I love psychology because it helps me understand other people and interact more wisely with them as a result. One key psychological lesson is recognizing the difference between someone who is genuinely attacking you and someone who is actually attacking himself by attacking you.

For instance, people who profess a very restrictive moral code are sometimes disproportionately outraged at the indulgence of others. See, the restrictivist feels indignation that others enjoy something he has practiced denying himself, especially when he still wants to indulge and secretly worries that his abstinence may be a form of unnecessary suffering. It’s far easier to attack the people who threaten to remind him of all this than it is to deal with the real conflicts within himself, and this is precisely what he does.

Having this insight allows us to respond to his attacks with pity and love, seeking to comfort a deeply pained soul rather than to simply refute a healthy debate opponent.