Thought of the Day 08.18.08

Wanting to protect our children from themselves, we’ve installed a variety of safety devices in our home such as outlet plugs, electrical cord protectors, and knob locks. None of these bother me much since they are easy to install and easy to work around. Then there’s my nemeses: the drawer latches. Disturbingly hard to install and frustrating to use, but I manage. At least until the other day.

I needed to get into the “semi-dangerous utensils” drawer, but I couldn’t get the latch to release. I tried and tried and tried the maneuvers that always work, but they didn’t. So I just pulled hard, and it opened…along with a small white piece of telltale plastic shrapnel indicating the unthinkable, I had broken the device. What was my punishment?

For several days now my boys (who seemed to know immediately what had transpired) have enjoyed relocating the potato masher and the spatulas and the pie server all over the house, which is about a hundred times more annoying than the drawer latch ever was. Lesson? Actions done in temporary frustration rarely decrease overall frustration.
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4 comments:

Stan said...

I have never figured this out. When I was growing up there wasn't a "child safety device" in the house. We didn't stick our fingers in sockets because Mom told us not to (and you didn't transgress what Mom said not to) and we certainly didn't move utensils around and if we ever pushed Mom's buttons we would face the wrath of Dad ... so we survived without safety devices. To add to the oddity, I, in turn, didn't install any such devices in my home raising my kids. It didn't occur to me. I just figured I'd teach them to obey and then command them not to do those things. Strangely, it worked.

So I can't figure out how it is that parents today can't survive child-rearing without these devices. How strange!

August 16, 2008 at 8:38 AM
Andrew Tallman said...

I also haven't figured out what people did with 1-2 year olds who wanted to play with knives in the drawers. It seems strange to imagine a world where children aren't protected from danger by child-proofing devices, but I agree that it was the case until recently. Did more children die or get harmed in accidents? I really don't know the answer. Was every child obedient enough not to get hurt? Even with pretty constant supervision of my children, they still get into things that could be dangerous to them.

But more importantly, what technique did you use to train your children this way that you think was so successful? I've only been a parent for 4 years, so I'm certainly open to suggestions. Share with us your wisdom, not just your criticism. I mean this genuinely, not as a swipe back. If there's something I don't know about parenting that will work, I'd far rather be a better parent than anything else.

August 18, 2008 at 2:04 PM
Anonymous said...

I used to put the safe items, potato masher, spatulas, wisk, etc. in a bottom drawer. That was one of Dani's favorite places to play, along with the pots and pans cabinet.

August 19, 2008 at 3:15 AM
Stan said...

You seemed to detect sarcasm when I said "I have never figured this out." And while sarcasm is often one of the services I provide, this wasn't one of those times. I genuinely don't know what changed. So I asked my mom. Here's what she told me:

"There was a fundamentally different mindset then. The idea was the parents are in charge and responsible. The kids were to obey. Corporal punishment was not a crime. And the time to install the necessary 'fear' was the first two years. Today's parents are the ones who fear...their kids, the authorities, their own uncertainties. I think it is interesting that we are told over and over in the Bible to 'fear God' with no clarifying disclaimers. And my kids could have said 'if I do that my Mom will kill me' with only a little overstatement. It seemed to help their choices."

August 21, 2008 at 8:35 PM

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