Thought of the Day 11.02.09

This morning, my boys were squabbling over some toy. Their bickering waxed and waned over several minutes like a piece of music while my wife and I watched with mildly concerned parental amusement. Then, when the scratching and punching started, we paid closer attention, eventually calling a halt to the festivities.

But instead of simply telling the boys to knock it off, we repeated our simple advice to Spencer: “When Ethan wants to fight over something, just let him have it and leave the conflict area.” Rationally, Spencer knows his life will still be worth living even if he doesn’t get this toy this second. But we all have short moral attention spans, and it’s easy to forget in the heat of object-lust.

So I figure another thousand or so repetitions, and he’ll learn that the single best way to have control over a fight is to not be in it. There are surely times to fight, but only the person who is free to not have to do so is qualified to know when he should. There’s just nothing quite as empowering as the ability to yield.