Thought of the Day 11.24.08

I have a friend who is going through an extremely difficult time right now because his wife is essentially abandoning him and their children. When I was talking with him recently, he told me that the hardest part about all of this is that he wants to hate her, but he can’t. He still loves her, and it kills him that he has to admit this to himself.

But this isn’t a defect. It’s a virtue. To have been married to another person for so long and to have had his hopes invested in her and to have found meaning and pleasure in a future shared with her, it would in fact have been a real statement about him lacking normal Christian virtue if he didn’t still love her. In fact, it is just such a lack which is the indictment against her.

The fact that it hurts when people betray us is a sign of goodness in us, not a problem. The fact that it hurts to move to another town is something to cherish for it indicates the loss of close relationship. And to be incapable of hating a woman who has devastated you this way is something to be proud of, not something to hide.