Thought of the Day 03.03.09

Because it’s important to me that people appreciate the beauty of my ideas (far too important, actually), I will typically keep explaining myself in a group until I’m satisfied that they’ve seen how right I am. But there was one time in particular when I didn’t feel this compulsion.

I was with about ten guys from my church, nine of whom were staking out a position I knew was wrong. But the tenth guy was a good friend with whom I had recently discussed the very subject at great length, and we both saw it the same way. This knowledge that at least one person in the room understood me (even if I looked like a fool to the rest) removed all my normal insecurity and allowed me to do unorthodox things like keep my mouth shut and take criticism without returning it.

Already having the approval and respect of someone whose opinion really mattered to me, I was free to argue from love rather than from need. And even though my good friend won’t always be in the room and won’t always be on my side even if he is there, I do know that I have another Friend Who always will be both.
Posted by at

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Man -thats a great way to slice and dice that compulsion!

Arguing from "love rather than need".
There's a nasty list of needs that too often compel us to argue: Pride, greed, arrogance, insecurity, significance etc... (and these are just the ones on my good days!)

The other one that trips me up is the fact that I simply loathe being misunderstood. We are all misunderstood however. If Jesus can't escape it I just have to resign myself to it. -Once I do that it helps me to speak from love too.

March 3, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Andrew Tallman said...

Don't worry, Jason. I understand you. =)

But this is such a key area of danger for those of us who communicate for a living. If I don't get properly understood, then people can't properly respect my ideas. This, of course, means that they can't properly respect and admire me as a disseminator of them. So, job one is to do everything necessary to get them to understand me, because otherwise I can't get my sense of worth satisfied through them.

On the other hand, if Jesus knows me and gives me all my worth (not just even a majority of it), then them not understanding me is imcapable of depriving me of something I really need and already have: approval.

March 3, 2009 at 6:02 PM

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)