Thought of the Day 07.08.08

~“I don’t know if I should propose to my girlfriend.”
~“Look, buddy, if you don’t marry her, you’re a fool. You’re never going to find anyone else as good as her. In fact, I don’t think anyone else will even put up with you. ”
~“But I don’t think I really love her.”
~“So what? You wanna be alone for the rest of your life? No sex? No kids? No one to comfort you in your old age. You don’t want to end up like that, do you? Marry that girl before it’s too late!”
~“Yeah, you’re right.”

This conversation is troubling in many ways, but mostly because wanting to avoid singleness is a terrible reason to get married. She deserves a man who loves her, and it’s very unlikely that such love will ever spring from the seeds of fear.

But doesn’t evangelism often sound just like this? We act as if getting people to want to avoid hell is the same as getting them to love God. But doesn’t God deserve better? If so, then perhaps our sharing of the Gospel should look more like romance counseling and less like a scare tactic.

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Is the reverse of this conversation ever necessary?
~"Look, buddy, if you haven't felt called to ask her to marry you by now, maybe God's telling you she's not right for you?"

Andrew Tallman said...

I think a very honest version of that conversation may well be necessary for many men. But I wouldn't start from the premise that God is telling him she's not right for him. I'd just want to explore what's going on behind why he's not willing to ask yet. Is he afraid of the commitment? Is he deeply aware that something here isn't what it should be? Does he have unrealistic expectations of a spouse? Is he both too chicken to either move ahead or to leave? But the connection with this thought I really like is that, just as it's terribly foolish to try to talk people into Christianity if they don't love God, it's also probably a very good thing to see if you can talk them out of it. If you can...maybe they didn't love God (or the girl) all that much to begin with. I'm not sure I've responded symmetrically to your post, but you get me thinking out loud...=)

Anonymous said...

I certainly agree with you here, but it seems sometimes that fear is the only trick in many believer's kit. It may not produce the best results, but it still produces results.

A favorite quote of mine:
"So when love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom...Hi Mom!"
- Laurie Anderson O Superman

Andrew Tallman said...

I'm becoming more and more interested in only the best results. At least so far as I can continually strive to better achieve them.

Anonymous said...

That is why I believe you are a good man Andrew :)