It's in the way that you use it.

On the plane flying back from St. Louis this week, I happened to be sitting in front of a father with an infant lap child, a situation most people disdain but which I love because I actually enjoy the sounds children make. About an hour into the flight, I was feeling drowsy, so I decided to stop reading and take a nap. Before reclining my seat, however, I turned around and asked the man if it was okay to do so. A bit startled by the courtesy, he said it was fine and thanked me for asking.

Now, I obviously did this because I wanted to be sure I didn’t inadvertently harm the child. But it immediately made me realize that it’s always a nice thing to warn the person before I recline. After all, how many times have I wished for some such warning from the person in front of me? The Golden Rule is pretty clear on this question.

“But it’s my right to recline my seat! Why should I have to ask permission to use my rights?” Well, the funny thing about rights is that their existence tells you nothing about a person. Their use, however, says quite a lot. And the most powerful use of any right is the choice to not, or at least to do so carefully…as if you love other people.