Thought of the Day 04.30.10

The other morning, I made French toast for breakfast, which is one of my boys’ favorite meal. Of course, as everyone knows, the only civilized way to eat French toast is with significant amounts of powdered sugar. But, since powdered sugar and preschoolers don’t mix so well, this usually means a mess on my floor.

My awareness of a spill came when my 6-year-old started dancing gleefully around the mess his brother had made, chanting, “Bad Ethan, Bad Ethan.” Now, I know from experience that Spencer takes pleasure in getting Ethan in trouble, and usually Ethan does get some sort of discipline when he does something wrong. But recently I’ve been working on something much more important in Spencer. That’s why my reaction surprised him.

Basically, I looked at Spencer and scolded him for not helping Ethan avoid the mess in the first place and for failing to help him clean it up afterward. “But I didn’t spill anything,” he protested. “I know. But your job as a big brother is to find a way to help him, not just to stand around proclaiming his sins. That’s what it means for my children to love one another.”