Thought of the Day 08.17.09

Technology has funny effects on our interpersonal behavior. Not usually good effects. Consider the Internet. Having read an abundance of blog posts on lots of different sites over the years, I think I’m only announcing the obvious when I say that people tend to be rude on the web.

Certainly part of this can be chalked up to people not realizing that they must write much more carefully than they speak because without voice modulation and body language to narrow the possible range of meanings, others will often take your words as representing the worst possible meaning. But I don’t think this is the main source of the harsh tendencies of blogging.

The simple truth of the matter is that face-to-face interactions strongly deter rudeness. Oh sure, people do say intemperate things to our faces, but even the rudest people are less so in person, and most people refrain from being rude at all. Obviously they might be hiding their true feelings, but that’s the point.

Whether we fear looking bad or whether we’re simply reluctant to actually witness the pain caused by our comments, looking someone in the eye at least makes us behave as if we are better people. The Internet, on the other hand, allows us to expose our worst selves if we let it. This is why it’s a good idea both to reread anything we write there before posting it and also to ask whether we would really say it directly to someone’s face. To do otherwise is both unloving and cowardly, effects the technology is all too effective at producing.