Thought of the Day 06.30.10

Is it possible that the people who best understand marriage are actually those who avoid and condemn it? Well, their common allegation is that marriage is a form of slavery. And they’re absolutely right.

When you get married, you promise to do things in the future that you may not want to do when the time comes, a promise made by current-you but binding on future-you. It’s a bit unfair to future-you because current-you wants to do all the things being promised. But, nevertheless, this is the basic reality of marriage.

The idea that future-you may either want out of the marriage or simply want to not perform marital duties isn’t even weird. In fact, the only possible reason we make vows in the first place is because we expect this to happen. It’s normal for spouses to want to leave or neglect their marriages in the future. So we promise to not act on that desire.

Thus, the right response to a married person wanting to leave a marriage is simple. “Of course you do. So what? You vowed not to.”