Thought of the Day 06.14.10

Anyone who knows my wife and me personally knows that ridicule and sarcasm are pretty much our love language. If we love you, we will mock you, and we expect the same in return. Last weekend, when I made a joke to a longtime friend, she quipped, “I can handle it from you because I know you don’t really mean it.”

In response, I explained, “Quite the contrary, dear. We mean it, but the reason it’s okay is that when I joke about your real flaws, you know that I love you not in ignorance of them or in spite of them but even because of them. In other words, when I make fun of you, I’m making you aware of your flaws and also affirming my absolutely unconditional love for and acceptance of you.

If you need to believe they aren’t really your defects, perhaps it’s because you’re too eager to base your identity and value on the fact that you don’t have some particular flaw. If so, then my teasing is very much a divine thing that reminds you that your status is in Christ, not in your own defectlessness. See? I can tease you because I love you, and you can take it for the very same reason…especially if it’s on target.”