I recently wanted to surprise my wife with some candy, so I picked her up a box of Whoppers at the store. At home, her anticipated happiness turned out to be disappointment. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Why did you buy me Whoppers?” she replied. “I thought I was doing something sweet for you,” I said. “But I don’t like Whoppers,” she explained. “I like Milk Duds, and I always have. You’re the one who likes Whoppers.”
Though I was obviously frustrated by this result, she was right. See, showing love is a complicated thing precisely because it either demonstrates that you really know the other person or else proves you don’t. And if I’m wrong about my wife’s preferences, it shows that I haven’t cared enough about her to learn them and see the world through her eyes. Intimacy presupposes knowledge, and gifts that might have worked on our first date are not impressive after 10 years of marriage.
All of which leads me to wonder whether my ways of trying to please God sufficiently reflect the knowledge of Him I’m supposed to have by this time…or not.
Thought of the Day 04.30.08.
Being sick is a strange experience. It always feels a little like my body is staging a revolt against me. My nose runs. My muscles ache. I sneeze or cough and can’t make it stop. And it always feels like I’m trying to run through a big pile of Jell-0. But this sense of being out of control is an illusion.
It’s not as though I’m normally in control of such things. It’s just that my involuntary body processes don’t get noticed when they’re working as I would like. I’m not less in control, I’m just less pleased with their behavior. And, oddly, they’re not even malfunctioning. Most of the unpleasant effects of a serious cold are really just the body’s way of working correctly to kill and expel enemy soldiers. So, although my body feels like it’s in rebellion, it’s actually doing precisely what it should to keep me alive.
And in the middle of such misery, it’s sometimes difficult to keep this proper perspective and be grateful toward my body rather than angry at it…and also the wise Designer who gave me this excellent gift.
It’s not as though I’m normally in control of such things. It’s just that my involuntary body processes don’t get noticed when they’re working as I would like. I’m not less in control, I’m just less pleased with their behavior. And, oddly, they’re not even malfunctioning. Most of the unpleasant effects of a serious cold are really just the body’s way of working correctly to kill and expel enemy soldiers. So, although my body feels like it’s in rebellion, it’s actually doing precisely what it should to keep me alive.
And in the middle of such misery, it’s sometimes difficult to keep this proper perspective and be grateful toward my body rather than angry at it…and also the wise Designer who gave me this excellent gift.
Thought of the Day 04.29.08
I like pie. No. If I’m honest, I’d actually have to admit that I love pie. Apple. Pecan. Pumpkin. Coconut Crème. If it’s pie, I’m in. When I watch a movie like Waitress or a TV show like Pushing Daisies, both of which feature exotic pie-making, I have to keep a napkin nearby in case I begin to leak around the mouth area.
Growing up, my mom and I would go to Poppin’ Fresh Pies (which later became Baker’s Square) just to have pie…Chocolate Silk for me (sometimes Bavarian Crème) and usually peach for her. Last week, some obscure chamber of my culinary memory cracked open and the craving for strawberry-rhubarb spilled out, my mom’s favorite pie to make from scratch. So I hunted for the ingredients and made one. Oh, yes. Happy belly.
It reminded me just how much I love pies. Not just some pies. All pies. And it made me realize that there are no pies I hate, only pies I haven’t yet learned to love. Just like people.
Thought of the Day 04.25.08
In general, there are three ways to refute any argument. You can show that the premises are false, that the pattern of reasoning is faulty, or that the conclusion itself is false. That’s why the Bible can be so useful. It will tell us why particular arguments are wrong, not by explaining the flawed pattern or premises, but by definitively rebuking the conclusion.
No matter how persuasive the rhetoric and ideas given in support of adultery or of dishonoring your parents, when someone voices them to you, all you have to know is that the Bible is clear that these conclusions are wrong. “But why?” your misguided opponent asks. “Because God said,” you reply. This may not be enough to persuade him, but it is a very nice place to start in your own thinking.
When the Bible is clear, the arguments don’t really matter. And replying to a variety of very interesting ideas by saying, “That’s all fine, but the Bible refutes your conclusion,” is precisely what is meant by the phrase “standing firm on the rock of God’s Word.”
No matter how persuasive the rhetoric and ideas given in support of adultery or of dishonoring your parents, when someone voices them to you, all you have to know is that the Bible is clear that these conclusions are wrong. “But why?” your misguided opponent asks. “Because God said,” you reply. This may not be enough to persuade him, but it is a very nice place to start in your own thinking.
When the Bible is clear, the arguments don’t really matter. And replying to a variety of very interesting ideas by saying, “That’s all fine, but the Bible refutes your conclusion,” is precisely what is meant by the phrase “standing firm on the rock of God’s Word.”
Thought of the Day 04.24.08
This morning, as I was cooking breakfast, Spencer came over and asked me where one of his toys was. I told him to look in the stuff scattered around the living room because I had just seen it there last night. He looked for a moment, didn’t find it, and went back to watching his fire fighter video on TV. A little later, he asked me again, and I told him the same thing. Again, he went back to watching the show.
After I was done cooking, I was momentarily tempted to look through the toys myself and find it for him, but I didn’t. Although it would have been very easy to do and would have made him happy, I stopped myself because I decided that I wasn’t going to care more about finding the toy for Spencer than he cared about it himself. If he’s only committed enough to ask me to look for it, but not enough to do so himself, I’m not going to.
He doesn’t realize it yet, but such vain requests dishonor me by valuing my time and effort less than his own, as though the father should be subject to the child’s fleeting whims. I wonder if God ever feels this way.
Thought of the Day 04.23.08
Eli Stone is a TV show about a lawyer with an inoperable brain aneurism who receives prophetic visions. In a recent episode, he saw a major earthquake hitting his city in three days, a prediction which was then independently confirmed. Naturally, he wanted to warn people who otherwise might be killed, but how could he do that without seeming like a lunatic?
Not that that was the real problem. Looking crazy wasn’t important except insofar as it might keep people from listening to him. Getting them to trust his warning was the real concern. He knew that he was morally obligated to get action, not merely to put himself in a position to say he had tried. And though it was infuriating to have people ignore his life-threatening truth, he understood that becoming infuriated would only guarantee failure.
In the end, not everyone listened to him. But the ones who did were people who had experienced his consistent character over time. He learned that getting people to trust the unseen often begins with showing them they can trust that which is visible.
Not that that was the real problem. Looking crazy wasn’t important except insofar as it might keep people from listening to him. Getting them to trust his warning was the real concern. He knew that he was morally obligated to get action, not merely to put himself in a position to say he had tried. And though it was infuriating to have people ignore his life-threatening truth, he understood that becoming infuriated would only guarantee failure.
In the end, not everyone listened to him. But the ones who did were people who had experienced his consistent character over time. He learned that getting people to trust the unseen often begins with showing them they can trust that which is visible.
Thought of the Day 04.22.08
Opponents of taxation often claim the government is doing what no individual would ever legally or morally be allowed to do: steal your money for their purposes without your consent. Finding the precise flaw in this argument is harder than most people imagine, but we know it must be wrong because, if true, it would outlaw too much.
Not only taxation, but nearly every government activity would be immoral and illegal for a private citizen to do himself. Jail would be kidnapping. Warfare would be murder. Arrests would be battery. Even things as common as street lights and business licenses would be wrong for an individual to impose on others. Everything government does is restrictive, coercive, or punitive in ways that no private citizen may be. Thus, whatever justifies government in doing anything also allows it at least some power to tax.
Yes, it’s difficult to explain why taxation is not theft, but it’s even harder for those who use this argument to avoid being committed by it to advocating the abolition of all government whatsoever. The intellectual footing on the slope toward anarchy is no less slippery than that on the plunge toward tyranny.
Not only taxation, but nearly every government activity would be immoral and illegal for a private citizen to do himself. Jail would be kidnapping. Warfare would be murder. Arrests would be battery. Even things as common as street lights and business licenses would be wrong for an individual to impose on others. Everything government does is restrictive, coercive, or punitive in ways that no private citizen may be. Thus, whatever justifies government in doing anything also allows it at least some power to tax.
Yes, it’s difficult to explain why taxation is not theft, but it’s even harder for those who use this argument to avoid being committed by it to advocating the abolition of all government whatsoever. The intellectual footing on the slope toward anarchy is no less slippery than that on the plunge toward tyranny.
Thought of the Day 04.21.08
Okay, I’ll admit it. I don’t understand graffiti. Oh, I understand the early French impressionist appeal of dressing up bland boxcars in floral lettering. “Look at the pretty colors.” It’s almost a Martha Stewart thing. But if the real purpose of tagging is to mark a gang’s territory, my mental block is that I have trouble being scared of anyone who stakes claim to a piece of property secretly under the cover of darkness.
“Look at how tough and powerful we are. We sneak around and pretend we own this place by finger-painting the walls. Fear us.” The act of tagging so perfectly communicates the impotence of gang authority that I’m amazed this irony escapes the vandals. Even worse, it’s hard for me to know who I’m supposed to fear since I can never read the stuff anyhow. Bad penmanship is just no way to run a secret government.
And two kids running through a neighborhood with a bottle of spray-paint hardly strikes me as a serious contender for an alternate social order. But, maybe in embracing the rules of a civilized society with interdependent accountability, I’ve naively missed something.
“Look at how tough and powerful we are. We sneak around and pretend we own this place by finger-painting the walls. Fear us.” The act of tagging so perfectly communicates the impotence of gang authority that I’m amazed this irony escapes the vandals. Even worse, it’s hard for me to know who I’m supposed to fear since I can never read the stuff anyhow. Bad penmanship is just no way to run a secret government.
And two kids running through a neighborhood with a bottle of spray-paint hardly strikes me as a serious contender for an alternate social order. But, maybe in embracing the rules of a civilized society with interdependent accountability, I’ve naively missed something.
Thought of the Day 04.18.08
People don’t always understand my thoughts of the day, and there’s a very intentional reason for that. See, art is good when it entices people to think rather than telling them what to think, and this requires choosing just the right level of complexity. Too cryptic, and people get frustrated. Too obvious, and they get bored. So my goal is to present these thoughts at just the right level to cultivate thought without coercing it.
Rather than taking so much pride in my ideas that I want to duplicate them in your head, I take my pride in giving you the opportunity to grow meaningful ones of your own. And the best way to know I have successfully failed to mentally tyrannize you is that you sometimes draw a different conclusion than I intended.
So am I bothered by this? No. I’m excited to be the catalyst for your creativity. And if this sometimes means that people don’t get it at all, well that’s just evidence that I’m using enough self-restraint to leave space for that creativity when it does come.
Thought of the Day 04.17.08
I was raised by a mom who was very liberal, both politically and theologically. She was actually more disheartened by my conservatism than my atheism. In outgrowing liberalism, it became a passion of mine to show how stupid or evil liberals were. But then one day I realized that I had built a significant part of my identity around hating the people who reminded me of who I used to be, as though I could prove I never was this awful thing by constantly attacking anyone who still was.
Once I forgave myself for having been wrong before, I also stopped hating those who still were. It became possible to have civil discussions with them and even learn things from them I would otherwise have missed. Though being anti-whatever-you-were-before is useful for initial separation, real health comes when you don’t feel so threatened by the old thing that you must hate in order to feel secure.
And when you reach that point, you might actually start to effectively minister to people who still are where you were. Remember, God opens our eyes so we can turn around and do the same for others, not so we can hate them for still being blind.
Thought of the Day 04.16.08
Last weekend, we took the boys to Enchanted Island, a carnival-type theme park for young children. Spencer and Ethan absolutely loved the bumper-boats, but a big part of what made it enjoyable for them was the two girls working the attraction. They interacted with the kids, splashed them, and did everything they could to make it fun and exciting, even though they could easily have just taken tickets and sat around watching.
So I took a moment to tell them that I appreciated all their effort and the wonderful job they were doing. The girl was very thankful, and she told me to tell her manager because they get a bonus if enough people give praise reports. So we did, and it turns out that this was enough to earn them that bonus. Now, were they doing such good work just so they could earn a bonus, or were they genuinely fun-loving caregivers? I don’t care.
Whether they reward people for being good already or entice them to act better than they are, the genius of incentives is that everyone winds up better off. I just wish that every employer would offer them and that every employee would take advantage of them.
So I took a moment to tell them that I appreciated all their effort and the wonderful job they were doing. The girl was very thankful, and she told me to tell her manager because they get a bonus if enough people give praise reports. So we did, and it turns out that this was enough to earn them that bonus. Now, were they doing such good work just so they could earn a bonus, or were they genuinely fun-loving caregivers? I don’t care.
Whether they reward people for being good already or entice them to act better than they are, the genius of incentives is that everyone winds up better off. I just wish that every employer would offer them and that every employee would take advantage of them.
Thought of the Day 04.16.08
Last weekend, we took the boys to Enchanted Island, a carnival-type theme park for young children. Spencer and Ethan absolutely loved the bumper-boats, but a big part of what made it enjoyable for them was the two girls working the attraction. They interacted with the kids, splashed them, and did everything they could to make it fun and exciting, even though they could easily have just taken tickets and sat around watching.
So I took a moment to tell them that I appreciated all their effort and the wonderful job they were doing. The girl was very thankful, and she told me to tell her manager because they get a bonus if enough people give praise reports. So we did, and it turns out that this was enough to earn them that bonus. Now, were they doing such good work just so they could earn a bonus, or were they genuinely fun-loving caregivers? I don’t care.
Whether they reward people for being good already or entice them to act better than they are, the genius of incentives is that everyone winds up better off. I just wish that every employer would offer them and that every employee would take advantage of them.
So I took a moment to tell them that I appreciated all their effort and the wonderful job they were doing. The girl was very thankful, and she told me to tell her manager because they get a bonus if enough people give praise reports. So we did, and it turns out that this was enough to earn them that bonus. Now, were they doing such good work just so they could earn a bonus, or were they genuinely fun-loving caregivers? I don’t care.
Whether they reward people for being good already or entice them to act better than they are, the genius of incentives is that everyone winds up better off. I just wish that every employer would offer them and that every employee would take advantage of them.
Thought of the Day 04.15.08
My youngest son loves to get all the pans out from under the oven and scatter them around the kitchen floor. Although I lack the weight of a longitudinal study to back me up, I think this is a universal toddler tendency. Nonetheless, it’s annoying. The noise is awful. The pans are clean before and of dubious sanitation afterward. And it’s time-consuming to put them back away, although he usually does help. But I still let him do it. Why?
Because my mom let me do so when I was his age. I’m not sure what I’d do in the absence of her now-departed guidance, but I’ve never had to decide for myself. I figure that if this was an important form of liberty for her to give me, then I can honor her and respect her judgment by letting my son do the same. Plus, it makes me think of her every time he does it.
But this is more than just a touching family tradition. It’s the basic idea of conservatism: respecting our forbears by deferring to their judgment on things ranging from laws to pan-play. Sure, it’s possible that they were wrong, but it’s also possible that they knew better than we did. Right mom?
Because my mom let me do so when I was his age. I’m not sure what I’d do in the absence of her now-departed guidance, but I’ve never had to decide for myself. I figure that if this was an important form of liberty for her to give me, then I can honor her and respect her judgment by letting my son do the same. Plus, it makes me think of her every time he does it.
But this is more than just a touching family tradition. It’s the basic idea of conservatism: respecting our forbears by deferring to their judgment on things ranging from laws to pan-play. Sure, it’s possible that they were wrong, but it’s also possible that they knew better than we did. Right mom?
Thought of the Day 04.14.08
In the movie, Dan in Real Life, one of the key themes is the question of whether you can know that you love someone in a really short amount of time, such as three days. The teenage girl thinks so because she knows that she wants to be with her boyfriend forever, but the father tries to tell her that no one can know something like that so quickly. They’re both a little right.
Sometimes we can make a quick and deep connection that endures because we commit to it. We can also be wrong and regret our recklessness. But of course, waiting to decide can just be a substitute for being afraid to make a commitment, and we can even wait too long to decide and lose the passion. Nonetheless, taking time to get information can be wise because it gives us confidence in our choice after observing the person in a variety of situations.
So is love a quick and powerful thing or is it a rational and drawn out process leading to a decision? It can be either and also somewhere in between. And if that’s true for love of a mate, we might remember that it can also be true for love of a Savior as well.
Sometimes we can make a quick and deep connection that endures because we commit to it. We can also be wrong and regret our recklessness. But of course, waiting to decide can just be a substitute for being afraid to make a commitment, and we can even wait too long to decide and lose the passion. Nonetheless, taking time to get information can be wise because it gives us confidence in our choice after observing the person in a variety of situations.
So is love a quick and powerful thing or is it a rational and drawn out process leading to a decision? It can be either and also somewhere in between. And if that’s true for love of a mate, we might remember that it can also be true for love of a Savior as well.
TOD 04.11.08
We’re over a week into the new baseball season, and there are basically two reactions to me saying so: cheering and silence. The cheers are from fans who love the game and can’t understand how others don’t. The silence is from people who either dislike it or else don’t care, and they can’t comprehend why anyone would love it so much.
If you’re someone who loves baseball, most likely you were either raised by parents who passed on their enthusiasm for the game to you, or else you became friends with someone who invited you to play or attend a game, which you enjoyed. I suppose some people even fell in love with it from radio or television. But for us who love it, we always have to remember that the main reason people don’t is that they never had anyone with enough enthusiasm, knowledge, and patience share it with them.
And until that happens, they’ll go on being baffled by our love for baseball, just as we are often baffled by how they don’t love it, we can easily forget that we ever didn’t. And, at least in this way, Jesus is a lot like baseball.
If you’re someone who loves baseball, most likely you were either raised by parents who passed on their enthusiasm for the game to you, or else you became friends with someone who invited you to play or attend a game, which you enjoyed. I suppose some people even fell in love with it from radio or television. But for us who love it, we always have to remember that the main reason people don’t is that they never had anyone with enough enthusiasm, knowledge, and patience share it with them.
And until that happens, they’ll go on being baffled by our love for baseball, just as we are often baffled by how they don’t love it, we can easily forget that we ever didn’t. And, at least in this way, Jesus is a lot like baseball.
TOD 04.10.08
Imagine that you’re a child who goes over to a friend’s house to play. When you arrive, his mother asks if you want something to eat, and you say, “No, thank you.” But, oddly, the next thing she asks is how much meatloaf you want on your plate. You’re puzzled, but you reply, “Thank you, ma’am, but I’m not hungry right now.”
She assures you that it’s very good and tells you to try some. You reply, “I’m sure it is delicious, perhaps I could have some later. I’m still full from my mom’s lunch.” Suddenly she turns on you and says, “Listen, you ungrateful little boy, you can either eat every last bit of this outstanding food or you can get out of my house right now.” A bit frightened, you politely say, “I think my mom needs me back home anyhow. Bye.”
How likely is it that you would ever go back to that mother’s house? Is it because her food isn’t good? Not at all. The problem wasn’t with the food. See, it’s just not enough to have something great to offer. When and how you offer it to people matters a lot as well.
She assures you that it’s very good and tells you to try some. You reply, “I’m sure it is delicious, perhaps I could have some later. I’m still full from my mom’s lunch.” Suddenly she turns on you and says, “Listen, you ungrateful little boy, you can either eat every last bit of this outstanding food or you can get out of my house right now.” A bit frightened, you politely say, “I think my mom needs me back home anyhow. Bye.”
How likely is it that you would ever go back to that mother’s house? Is it because her food isn’t good? Not at all. The problem wasn’t with the food. See, it’s just not enough to have something great to offer. When and how you offer it to people matters a lot as well.
TOD 04.09.08
While I was enjoying some leisure time doing my taxes the other day, my son asked if he could color with the crayons. So I got them out and gave him a blank piece of paper to work on. After a few minutes, he asked for my help again because the white and yellow crayons weren’t working properly. They were dirty because he had used them on top of the darker colors.
I showed him that he could just wipe it off by coloring on a clean patch of paper, and I explained to him that this would happen again any time he colored over dark colors with lighter ones. Not sure whether my strange advice could be trusted, he nevertheless went back to work. And that’s when it struck me how this illustrates our own character. When we’re born again, we’re cleansed by Jesus and made like the white crayon. But if we color back over the sins of our past, we become tainted again and need recleaning with something that will take our new stain away.
I think this is why Jesus used the illustration of looking at the bronze serpent when he spoke about our dependence on Him in John 3:14-15, the verses before the verse that everybody knows.
I showed him that he could just wipe it off by coloring on a clean patch of paper, and I explained to him that this would happen again any time he colored over dark colors with lighter ones. Not sure whether my strange advice could be trusted, he nevertheless went back to work. And that’s when it struck me how this illustrates our own character. When we’re born again, we’re cleansed by Jesus and made like the white crayon. But if we color back over the sins of our past, we become tainted again and need recleaning with something that will take our new stain away.
I think this is why Jesus used the illustration of looking at the bronze serpent when he spoke about our dependence on Him in John 3:14-15, the verses before the verse that everybody knows.
TOD 04.08.08
Part of my contract as a talk show host requires that I give my employer a percentage of any money I make from my position, such as speaking fees. I must admit that I despise this fact. It always feels a little like they’re stealing from me. Nonetheless, every time I’m paid for a speech, I give my boss a check for the correct portion, and he is always slightly surprised by it.
See, I’m the only one who knows that I got paid and how much it was, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to just keep it all; all the more tempting because I loathe the requirement. But I don’t. Why not? Because I signed a contract. So, in reality it would be stealing for me to keep them money, and the lack of oversight doesn’t change this fact. Although giving it over makes me unhappy, honoring my obligation to do so makes me proud.
Yes, the money matters more to me than it does to the company, but my word and my character matter far more to me than the money. And with the proximity of tax day next week, I hope I’m not the only one who sees things this way.
See, I’m the only one who knows that I got paid and how much it was, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to just keep it all; all the more tempting because I loathe the requirement. But I don’t. Why not? Because I signed a contract. So, in reality it would be stealing for me to keep them money, and the lack of oversight doesn’t change this fact. Although giving it over makes me unhappy, honoring my obligation to do so makes me proud.
Yes, the money matters more to me than it does to the company, but my word and my character matter far more to me than the money. And with the proximity of tax day next week, I hope I’m not the only one who sees things this way.
TOD 04.07.08
Is there such a thing as unintentional sin? You might initially say not, because sin is such a serious thing that it seems to require premeditation. Besides, we know that knowing something is wrong and still doing it is much worse than just doing the wrong thing. So it seems strange to use one label for things of such different degree. But this is precisely what Jesus taught.
Lust doesn’t seem like adultery, but it is. Coveting doesn’t seem like theft, but it is. Hatred doesn’t seem like murder, but it is. And the most common kind of idolatry, though He didn’t give the example, is inadvertent. It’s allowing yourself to act as if you are worshipping something other than God with your time, talent, and treasure. Perhaps the biggest problem people in this generation have is not that they sin. It’s that they don’t even know they do.
And how can someone recognize his need for a Savior to cure him of an illness that everyone around him claims he doesn’t even have? And even if he is persuaded to take the medicine, how much love can be expected from him who thinks he is only forgiven for little?
Lust doesn’t seem like adultery, but it is. Coveting doesn’t seem like theft, but it is. Hatred doesn’t seem like murder, but it is. And the most common kind of idolatry, though He didn’t give the example, is inadvertent. It’s allowing yourself to act as if you are worshipping something other than God with your time, talent, and treasure. Perhaps the biggest problem people in this generation have is not that they sin. It’s that they don’t even know they do.
And how can someone recognize his need for a Savior to cure him of an illness that everyone around him claims he doesn’t even have? And even if he is persuaded to take the medicine, how much love can be expected from him who thinks he is only forgiven for little?
TOD 04.04.08
My good friend Dwayne Hoskins just went home after staying with us for a week, and it was such a blessing to have him around. We ate. We golfed. We talked. We ate. We drank coffee. We did the radio show together. Did I mention that we ate? But what I most valued about having him around was seeing him interact with my children, especially when they weren’t being little angels.
Because Dwayne’s parents had four of their own, adopted eight, and had over 80 foster kids, he really knows a lot about interacting with children. Now, obviously I learned from his example, but I noticed something else as well. Having him around made me try harder with my kids. I wanted to impress him, and the presence of a coach made me feel that much more accountable.
This wasn’t an oppressive thing. It was a blessing because I know how much he loves me and wants me to succeed. Now I just need to remind myself that an even wiser expert is always with me…one who loves me even more than my closest friends do.
Because Dwayne’s parents had four of their own, adopted eight, and had over 80 foster kids, he really knows a lot about interacting with children. Now, obviously I learned from his example, but I noticed something else as well. Having him around made me try harder with my kids. I wanted to impress him, and the presence of a coach made me feel that much more accountable.
This wasn’t an oppressive thing. It was a blessing because I know how much he loves me and wants me to succeed. Now I just need to remind myself that an even wiser expert is always with me…one who loves me even more than my closest friends do.
TOD 04.02.08
My children are always trying to help me do things. Spencer loves to help with the dishes, which means that I set aside all the silverware for him to rinse before it goes in the dishwasher. Doing it this way takes more time and uses more water, but he really enjoys being part of the process.
Ethan likes to help unload the dishwasher after everything’s clean. He does this by grabbing a plate or a bowl or a cup and waddling it over to me as fast as he can. Normally, I would say that this also doesn’t actually help very much, but it does. Precisely because I’m so concerned that he’ll drop something on the floor, I try to make it so he handles as few items as possible. I do this by racing to unload as much of it myself while he’s shuttling items to me. Thus in the end not only does he wind up helping me, but I do it in about two thirds the time because I’m trying to work so quickly.
Efficiency is never the main value in parenting, but occasionally it’s a fringe benefit…very occasionally.
Ethan likes to help unload the dishwasher after everything’s clean. He does this by grabbing a plate or a bowl or a cup and waddling it over to me as fast as he can. Normally, I would say that this also doesn’t actually help very much, but it does. Precisely because I’m so concerned that he’ll drop something on the floor, I try to make it so he handles as few items as possible. I do this by racing to unload as much of it myself while he’s shuttling items to me. Thus in the end not only does he wind up helping me, but I do it in about two thirds the time because I’m trying to work so quickly.
Efficiency is never the main value in parenting, but occasionally it’s a fringe benefit…very occasionally.
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