What's the lesson?

In my house, my children are lucky enough to be afflicted with parents who are always challenging them to think about everything. The question they have learned to dread hearing is, “So what did you learn?” The reason they dread this is because it always follows a mistake they have made or else a mistake they didn’t even realize they made. Either way, bad things happened.

For instance, just this morning, Ethan (my four-year-old) was climbing on top of their fort, stretching to reach something at the top of the closet. (For those without boys, yes, this is pretty normal behavior.) Well, as I watch him, sure enough, he loses his footing and falls in that slow-motion way monkeys learn to do. When he’s reached his landing (one leg on the fort, one on the floor, and his head laying on some boxes in the bottom of the closet), I first ask him if he’s okay.

“Yes,” he replies.

“And what did you learn?” I asked, anticipating a safety breakthrough.

“Not to fall.”

Indeed it is important to remember to think about what we’ve learned from a mistake. However, it’s also important we succeed at identifying the right lesson.