Thought of the Day 12.15.09

Ethan (our 3-year-old) has developed the habit of demanding what he wants in a fairly shrill tone of voice. “Gib me one dos cookies!” So, we’ve recently been focusing on tone, form of address, and using the word please. Now, whenever he forgets, I’ll say, “That’s not the way you ask for something.” He’s pretty quick to rephrase, “Please, daddy, can I have a cookie?”

Unfortunately, he’s now beginning to make a fairly understandable mistake in his thinking. He thinks this new language game is about satisfying me rather than about him needing to learn basic social skills for his own benefit. This leads him to imagine his new magic wand will get him things he otherwise wouldn’t. “Please, daddy, can I play with your nail gun?” “No, son, but good job asking properly.”

Naturally, I still base my decisions on his welfare. The word may be “magic,” but it doesn’t magically make daddy stupid. As the man in charge of his future, I must still often refuse him, even though I’m glad he’s finally praying to me in just the right way.