TOD 11.08.07

Almost every morning, I grind fresh coffee for myself. Since the grinder makes an outrageously loud noise and the complexity of grinding extends to pushing down a button, I usually let one of the boys do it with me. When he was younger, this was Spencer’s task. And now that Ethan is old enough, I let him do it because it’s one of the few things he can help me with. But almost every time I offer it to Ethan, Spencer pleads with me to let him do it.

I explain to him that he gets to do other stuff that only big boys can do and this is something that Ethan can do, but Spencer doesn’t care. All he knows is that whatever it is I’m doing, he wants to be doing it with me. In contrast, Ethan likes grinding the coffee but wouldn’t throw a fit if I didn’t let him do it. You see, Spencer is what we call our “black hole of attention.” Ethan, still lacking a nickname, is more self-directed and generally indifferent to our presence unless he needs something.

Because they are different people with different needs, we parent them differently. When it comes to grinding coffee, I encourage Ethan to participate while I fend Spencer off. I wonder whether God does this with His different children.