TOD 09.14.07

Anger is a very instructive emotional response. One common source of anger is being caught off guard by criticism for something we do or believe that we discover we don’t really know how to defend. We try to cover this embarrassment with anger, mistakenly thinking that this portrays strength when it really shows weakness.

For example, I recently asked on the show whether scrapbooking cultivates an unhealthy attachment to the past. In response, the unprepared say, “That’s ridiculous!” which is really just another way of saying, “Man, I never thought about that before, and I’d rather get angry than think about it right now either.” Instead, those who have really contemplated their lives and values might say, “Yes, you’re right. That’s a real danger, and here’s what I do to avoid it.”

So what’s the lesson? First, examine our lives thoroughly. Second, use anger as an indicator of uncertainty that can remind us to stop and consider the merit in criticisms we haven’t previously heard. Then we can be calm because our confidence comes from growing wiser rather than from claiming we already are wise.