How do I get to hell?

If I speak properly, then I am a good person, which is why it is ever so important to show people who do not speak properly their grammatical flaws, because I love them and want them to be better people…like me. Failing this, I must at least be certain others know the difference so they can recognize my goodness for what it is. Thus, I will be sure to publicly criticize those who speak poorly.

If I drive correctly, then I am a good person, which is why it is so vital that bad drivers visibly receive my love-filled gestures of indignation. How else will they know they have driven badly and learn from their mistakes, eventually becoming good drivers and therefore good people…like me. Regardless, I should at least tell my friends about the bad drivers I encountered today so they can honor my skill for what it is. This way we can all be good people together, unlike those other sorts.

If I obey the Bible properly, then I am a good person, which is why it is so essential that immoral people be taught the error of their ways. Besides, God tells me to love them, and what better way to do so than to actively facilitate their moral education? Unable to virtuefy them, I will of course need to exclude them from my closely guarded circle of self-congratulation. After all, if I and people like me to not regularly practice our God-given gift of condemnation, how will we reinforce our holiness and maintain our moral prestige with others?

1 comment:

Daniel from Phoenix said...

Yes and True. When will we realize that our small, seemingly insignificant criticisms of others might reflect the great love difficeincy in our own hearts? (Yes, I spelled deficiency wrong.)