Thought of the Day 11.05.09

This morning, Spencer was twirling Sage around on his back by the legs on our bed. At first he was laughing, but then he stopped smiling and started complaining mildly. I immediately told Spencer to stop because “Sage doesn’t like that.” “But daddy, he was laughing about it,” he replied.

At this point, I realized I needed to be very careful how I proceeded because there were really two different things going on here. On the one hand, Spencer was doing what Sage didn’t enjoy, which needed some correction. But on the other hand, Spencer clearly was trying to entertain Sage and had been correct in sensing his early enjoyment, which I wanted to encourage and praise.

So, I said, “Well, honey, you have to keep paying attention because he can change quickly from liking something to being upset by it. But I’m really glad you’re playing with him, and I like that you’re paying attention to whether he likes it. That’s good.”

One of the great challenges of parenting is to nurture the good and also discourage the bad things kids do, especially when both are present in the same behavior.