TOD 12.12.07

We recently discussed the problem of how to respond when you receive a bad Christmas gift. Of course, most people are inclined to say that the polite thing to do is to lie by smiling and saying, “Thank you.” But why? Obviously, one part is that we don’t want to hurt the feelings of the one who has given the bad gift.

Not so obviously, the other part is that we don’t want to look bad ourselves for complaining or being ungrateful. In other words, we worry that too much honesty will show us to be something less grand than we lead people to believe or will make others feel less grand about themselves than they’d like. So we cater heavily to pride and embrace the moral burden of dishonesty.

But what if the bad gift were from an enemy, someone whose feelings we didn’t mind hurting and whose opinions of us didn’t matter? Then we might tell the truth. Yet isn’t there something amiss when we feel free to tell the truth to our enemies, but must lie to those we love? Perhaps our notions about truth and love aren’t quite what they should be.