TOD 12.06.07

“Andrew, I have a dilemma. I know the Bible says we’re supposed to wait until marriage, but my fiancé says that since we’re going to get married eventually anyway we might as well go ahead.” Ah, yes. The very picture of a Christlike fiancé, sacrificing his own needs and desires for the good of his beloved out of devotion to God.

But let’s get our terms straight. You have a temptation, not a dilemma. A temptation is when you know what’s right, but you want to do wrong. The conflict is between principle and desire. A dilemma occurs when the principles are in conflict with each other, and it’s unclear which one to follow. But why do people describe their temptations as dilemmas? Because to say, “I have a temptation,” is so insignificant. Of course you do, dear. If your desires were in line with morality, you wouldn’t need morality.

Calling it a dilemma makes it seem like both alternatives are legitimate. Thus, even phrasing it this way is a subtle declaration that you’ve already decided to put desire first, since you’re giving it more credit than it deserves.