Every gift is an opportunity for either improving or harming a relationship. Good ones show love, and bad ones show that people don’t really know us or don’t care enough to give accordingly. But one of the powerful abilities of a good gift is that it gives you the strong sense that someone else really “gets” you and is on your side in the world.
For instance, my wife never sends me emails at work, partially because we just recently got the Internet at home and partially because, well, we talk for an hour each night on our walk. But just today she sent me a short note saying, “Thought it would cheer you up to know...Starting tomorrow the forecast is for a high of low 90's. Today is probably the last day of 100 degree weather.”
Obviously, the news of horrid heat ending made me happy. But being reminded that my beloved wife knows how much I hate Phoenix summers and cares enough about me to send this small, personal note brings me far more joy than the news contained in the note itself.
Thought of the Day 09.29.09
Among my circle of eaters, I am known for making really great pies, and I confess that it’s true. I do make excellent pies, and people always say the same thing. “Your pie is sooo good. The crust is amazing. How do you do it?”
At this point, I always hem and haw a little bit. It’s not because I don’t want to tell my secret. It’s because there is no secret to tell. I just follow the Betty Crocker recipe, with the exception that I make about 50% more because I prefer a thick crust. Since I feel like I just followed instructions, taking the compliment is a little weird. I’m glad they liked it, but the credit has to ultimately go to the cookbook and not me since I feel like I’ve actually done so little to make it turn out right. Mostly, I just did what I was told.
Similarly, whenever people are impressed by my kids or my marriage or my finances or even my wisdom, I’m always a bit embarrassed. God wrote the cookbook. Taking credit for myself just feels like plagiarism.
At this point, I always hem and haw a little bit. It’s not because I don’t want to tell my secret. It’s because there is no secret to tell. I just follow the Betty Crocker recipe, with the exception that I make about 50% more because I prefer a thick crust. Since I feel like I just followed instructions, taking the compliment is a little weird. I’m glad they liked it, but the credit has to ultimately go to the cookbook and not me since I feel like I’ve actually done so little to make it turn out right. Mostly, I just did what I was told.
Similarly, whenever people are impressed by my kids or my marriage or my finances or even my wisdom, I’m always a bit embarrassed. God wrote the cookbook. Taking credit for myself just feels like plagiarism.
Thought of the Day 09.28.09
Every night, we go for an hour-long family walk. Unfortunately, the first step in this process is ending our sons’ naps, which involves wailing and gnashing of teeth. Well, the other day, Spencer took his complaints to a new level, declaring adamantly, “I don’t want to go for a walk. I’m not going.”
So, I said, “That’s fine. But just so I’m clear on the new rule of this house, no one has to do anything we don’t want to do. Is that right?” “Yes. I like that rule.” So I told him, “Cool. I won’t be cooking you dinner since I don’t want to. And I won’t play games with you since it’s too much work.” This made him look sad.
Then my lovely assistant joined in, “And daddy won’t make models or rockets with you or take you to the park anymore.” It’s nice to have an accomplice. After a minute, I asked him, “So what’s it gonna be? Will we all do what we want to do, or will we all do what we are supposed to do?”
“Let’s do what we’re supposed to do, daddy. I’ll get ready for the walk.” He’s sharp for a five-year-old. Sometimes he just needs a little help to see the right answer.
Thought of the Day 09.25.09
When I bought my car, I knew I would need a new clutch within the next six months or so. Well, a year and a half later, I still haven’t replaced that clutch, and the car shifts just as well as it did when I bought it.
A year ago, my wife had her brakes inspected, and they told her they were at 30%, which meant they would need replacing in the near future, but not immediately. Six months ago, they told her the same number. And then, just this week, when she took her van in for an oil change, the number still hadn’t moved.
How could these things be? Well, my wife believes the description of the Jews wandering the desert for 40 years without the soles of their shoes wearing out. So, when she prays, one of her requests is for our stuff to not wear out.
Does such prayer always work? I don’t know. But I do know that the clutch on my previous car lasted about 150,000 miles. So it’s okay with me if my wife keeps on praying for God to preserve our stuff. We are in the desert, after all.
Thought of the Day 09.24.09
On competition shows like America’s Got Talent, the winners always remind us what it takes to win. “Just don’t ever give up on your dream. If you believe in yourself and work hard, you can make it, too.” Sadly, this formula, so widely believed by aspiring performers, couldn’t be less true.
Despite working for a few people, tens of thousands of others tried this and failed. And an interview with them would yield a far less inspiring commentary: “I kept trying, working, believing, sacrificing, and dreaming every day. Yet, here I am, not a success. And keep in mind that I am the vast statistical norm.” No drug with such abysmal results would ever pass the FDA.
So what is the real secret to success, if not this? Truth be told, people win such shows because of genuine skill, temporary popularity, and a heaping pile of luck. And one time, I’d like to hear a winner admit he won because he was better than the other acts and he got really lucky. What’s true and what’s encouraging just aren’t always the same thing.
Despite working for a few people, tens of thousands of others tried this and failed. And an interview with them would yield a far less inspiring commentary: “I kept trying, working, believing, sacrificing, and dreaming every day. Yet, here I am, not a success. And keep in mind that I am the vast statistical norm.” No drug with such abysmal results would ever pass the FDA.
So what is the real secret to success, if not this? Truth be told, people win such shows because of genuine skill, temporary popularity, and a heaping pile of luck. And one time, I’d like to hear a winner admit he won because he was better than the other acts and he got really lucky. What’s true and what’s encouraging just aren’t always the same thing.
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