Since Ethan is only 21 months old, a significant portion of our house is structured around making it difficult for him to hurt himself. One example is the bathroom door, which stays open during the night in case Spencer needs to go, but which stays closed during the day so that Ethan doesn’t go swimming in the tiny pool or worse, although worse is hard to imagine.
This morning, when I took him out of his crib and put him on the floor, he immediately looked at the open door and said, “Uh-oh.” As he started to walk toward it, my first impulse was to shut it and keep him out, but I paused, wanting to see what might happen. He waddled up to it, grabbed the handle, and then very deliberately walked backwards until the door was closed. Then he looked at me and smiled. After praising him, I pondered what an amazing thing had just happened.
Without any need for an explanation, Ethan had simply internalized the notion that daddy wants that door closed. And, even though he certainly understands that it is closed to keep him out, he still eagerly wanted to help enforce my will. Now, what was it you wanted me to do again, Lord?
TOD 02.29.08
In ethics, there are three different kinds of rules. First, universal rules, which apply to all people in all places, such as, “Do not murder,” or, “Devote time to God in prayer.” Second, particular rules, which apply to all people in a group, such as, “Drive 65 or less on most American interstates,” or, “Obey your superiors in the military.” Finally, personal rules, which apply only to you, usually based on your individual purpose, character, or commitments, such as, “No alcohol because drunkenness tempts you,” or, “No motorcycle riding because your wife hates it.”
Many people wrongly deny one or more of these categories, and this leads them to be mistaken about how a rule applies. Denying personal rules leads people to turn them into universals, such as, “No one should celebrate Halloween.” Likewise, denying universal rules leads others to wrongly reduce them to merely personal, such as, “I would never have an abortion.”
Since the universal rule to love others requires us to assist them in living well, we must also be careful to correctly know whether and how the other rules apply to them as well.
Many people wrongly deny one or more of these categories, and this leads them to be mistaken about how a rule applies. Denying personal rules leads people to turn them into universals, such as, “No one should celebrate Halloween.” Likewise, denying universal rules leads others to wrongly reduce them to merely personal, such as, “I would never have an abortion.”
Since the universal rule to love others requires us to assist them in living well, we must also be careful to correctly know whether and how the other rules apply to them as well.
TOD 02.28.08
I walk around this world in constant awe and wonder, amazed on a daily basis at how much more of God there is to grasp all around me. For example, we just moved to a part of town where there is a lot less light pollution, so the stars are beautifully vivid at night. And as we take our evening walks, I would have to be avoiding them to not notice the constellations.
Of course there is Orion and Cassiopeia , but the one which I most easily see is the big dipper. And following the front edge of the big dipper, I immediately find the North Star. Permanently at due north because of the orientation of the earth and never moving in spite of its rotation, I’m forced to congratulate God on such a useful forethought. And I’m also forced to wonder at those who think, myself formerly among them, that this was just a lucky happenstance.
It’s truly amazing what we can talk ourselves into believing when once we have chosen to deny the divinity of the truly amazing.
Of course there is Orion and Cassiopeia , but the one which I most easily see is the big dipper. And following the front edge of the big dipper, I immediately find the North Star. Permanently at due north because of the orientation of the earth and never moving in spite of its rotation, I’m forced to congratulate God on such a useful forethought. And I’m also forced to wonder at those who think, myself formerly among them, that this was just a lucky happenstance.
It’s truly amazing what we can talk ourselves into believing when once we have chosen to deny the divinity of the truly amazing.
TOD 02.27.08
Much of the wisdom we need to live well comes from simply understanding our desires and motivations and manipulating them for a purpose. For instance, my father recently told me that he always encourages singles to date a lot of people at the same time rather than having a series of exclusive relationships. This immediately struck me as tremendous wisdom because of what it does for decent people.
The reason most singles have trouble resisting premarital physical affection is that they don’t properly view it as infidelity. At best, it’s cheating on a potential, future person. Most of them would find it much easier to avoid such activity if it seemed like cheating on a whole group of real, current people. Ironically, dating many people gives both the boundaries we need and also the honorable excuse we might be glad to have. “I wouldn’t do that to them, just as I wouldn’t do it to you,” is both easier to say and sounds much more virtuous than, “I won’t do that with you.”
When we date many, we have sex with none. When we date one, we have sex with many. Contrary to what most people practice, the best way to preserve marriage may actually be to avoid imitating it before the fact.
The reason most singles have trouble resisting premarital physical affection is that they don’t properly view it as infidelity. At best, it’s cheating on a potential, future person. Most of them would find it much easier to avoid such activity if it seemed like cheating on a whole group of real, current people. Ironically, dating many people gives both the boundaries we need and also the honorable excuse we might be glad to have. “I wouldn’t do that to them, just as I wouldn’t do it to you,” is both easier to say and sounds much more virtuous than, “I won’t do that with you.”
When we date many, we have sex with none. When we date one, we have sex with many. Contrary to what most people practice, the best way to preserve marriage may actually be to avoid imitating it before the fact.
TOD 02.26.08
Over the weekend, as I was waiting for my wife in the car with sleeping children, I happened to see a Muslim woman leaving the store. I inferred she was Muslim because she was wearing a traditional-looking scarf which carefully covered her neck and head except for her face in the way I have seen many Muslim women do.
What intrigued me about her attire, however, was the fact that she was also wearing some sort of eye-catching waist jewelry, a cute top, and high heels which were mostly hidden underneath the hem of her extremely form-fitting jeans. Because of the rest of the outfit, the scarf had almost taken on its own air of allure rather than modesty, which I presume was its original purpose. I have no idea what her peers or parents think, but I thought her dress was as effective a demonstration that you cannot enforce principles through the application of specific rules as any I had seen.
The child’s body may be sitting on the chair, but if he’s still standing up on the inside, one may well wonder what good the rule has really accomplished.
What intrigued me about her attire, however, was the fact that she was also wearing some sort of eye-catching waist jewelry, a cute top, and high heels which were mostly hidden underneath the hem of her extremely form-fitting jeans. Because of the rest of the outfit, the scarf had almost taken on its own air of allure rather than modesty, which I presume was its original purpose. I have no idea what her peers or parents think, but I thought her dress was as effective a demonstration that you cannot enforce principles through the application of specific rules as any I had seen.
The child’s body may be sitting on the chair, but if he’s still standing up on the inside, one may well wonder what good the rule has really accomplished.
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