Thought of the Day 12.07.09

Northbound 51 exiting at Highland (on my way to work) is a horrible stretch. The merge area and the off-ramp are both regularly dangerous given the volume of traffic. But even if you make it safely to the light, another problem awaits you: the dreaded two-lane right-hand turn. I normally try to be in the right-most lane to avoid someone taking an obliviously wide turn into me, but today I was in the other one.

Naturally, the truck beside me did just what I had feared. But, since I was anticipating this problem, I avoided the accident and honked at him to let him know what he had done. Then something miraculous occurred. We both came to a stop at the next light beside each other, and I yelled over to him that there are two turn lanes there.

He replied, “Yeah, I’m so sorry, as soon as you honked I realized what I had done.” I immediately reassured him, “I’ve done it myself before, and I just wanted to be sure you knew for the future.” “Thanks,” he said. Reconciliation after a social breach just makes the universe seem a little bit prettier.

Thought of the Day 12.04.09

If I tell you that average American income, adjusted for inflation, hasn’t increased since around 1990, what’s your reaction? If you’re like most people, this makes you feel bad about how stagnant your life has been and makes you feel as though things aren’t getting any better, a narrative loved by our media.

But what if I rephrase and say that household income has remained constant for two decades? That’s logically the same thing, but psychology follows language, not logic. Whereas failing to increase sounds bad, remaining constant sounds like stability, a good thing.

Even so, there’s another, deeper deception here. Instead of asking whether the average worker today is better off than the average worker back then, why not ask whether the average worker today is better off than he was back then? How does the income of a typical 50-year-old today compare with a typical 30-year-old of 20 years ago? At least this comparison would acknowledge the fact that almost everyone lives better as his own life progresses.

I know this perspective doesn’t help reinforce the media’s cherished pessimism narrative, but it does help us remember how much better most of our lives become as we age, gain skills, and acquire wealth.

Thought of the Day 12.03.09

Imagine for a moment a fairly common problem in marriages: a spouse who doesn’t understand what the other spouse wants. For instance, let’s say a wife believes that her husband cares deeply about having the house nice and clean (perhaps because her own father did) when in truth he doesn’t care about that at all. Two consequences might follow from this error.

First alternative, she continually cleans the house and feels proud of herself. But, since he doesn’t care, her sense of wifely devotion is falsely inflated, which is why his lack of appreciation frustrates her. Also, in the effort to give him what he doesn’t want, she neglects doing other things that would, in fact, genuinely please him.

Second alternative, she rarely cleans the house and feels inadequate as a wife. Even though he’s quite satisfied with her, her unfounded guilt prevents her from knowing this. And if he ever does remark on the house, even just as a practical matter, she takes it very personally and feels defensive, leading to additional problems.

If you understand this catch-22, here’s the question: how sure are you that the things you’re proud of and also the things you’re ashamed of are actually things that your Lord God cares about?

Thought of the Day 12.02.09

Every parent knows the pain of seeing no change in behavior after repeated correction. Whenever I feel this way, it helps me to remember that there are at least four patterns of correction.

The first occurs when we correct something once or a few times and the children behave properly. This might be called the “miraculous” pattern.

Second is when we correct something ten thousand times, but it never really improves. Nevertheless, we continue correcting it anyhow because it’s right to do so, even in the absence of results. “Do not grow weary in well-doing.”

The only difference in the third pattern is that after enough tries, we simply give up because we realize it’s not bad or at least not so bad to keep fighting over.

But the fourth pattern is the one that gives me hope. This is when we have to realize that it will take several hundred or even several thousand corrections before change occurs. The hope comes from knowing that, whatever that magic number is, correction number 648 is one repetition closer to that tipping point than correction 647 was.

Thought of the Day 12.01.09

Consider for a moment the cumbersome process for incarcerating someone:

We have professional debaters present both sides of the issue.
We hear from as many witnesses as possible.
We give the accused a chance to defend himself or to say nothing at all, a choice which cannot be used to incriminate him.
We give him the right to confront all those who accuse him.
We carefully screen twelve jurors to prevent partiality or bias, then teach them the law, give them all available information, and require a unanimous decision.
In sentencing, information on character, background, and ongoing activities (or prior convictions) is presented so that the punishment fits the total context of the situation.
This is all overseen by a professional judge who operates within a complex system of appeals which takes a very long time to avoid the errors of haste.
And despite all of this, we still occasionally make mistakes.

So, if this is a reliable process for judging people, the question is, “How closely does your own mechanism for doing so resemble it?” I’ll let you judge what to do based on your answer.