Our culture has a negativity bias. By this I mean that all things negative have prestige over all things positive as a rule for us. Praise is nice, but condemnation is entertaining. So much so that one might say we have a criticism fetish, an unnatural eagerness for the next aria of fault-finding sung by the virtuoso of criticism. And yes. I grasp the irony of me criticizing criticism, even if that’s the only way out of the trap.
In beliefs, skepticism is our default. Question authority. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. Get it in writing. Believe it when you see it. And assume the worst. For Americans, disbelief, distrust, dislike, and disagreement all seem to be the normative starting points.
The benefit of this disposition is that we avoid error and the embarrassment of being fooled. But the price for such security is too high. The culture of “No!” winds up making the worst error of all. By betting on nothing, we lose the entire game because we never had a chance to win.
Thought of the Day 10.06.09
My sons love to eat meat. Chicken, steak, ham, ribs, bacon, bratwurst, pepperoni, hamburger. Meat. Pretty much all meat. Now, since I’m the cook, I usually serve their food warm. But somehow Ethan has gotten it into his head that meat is better cold, like hot dogs and boloney. This means that when I announce the menu, he often tells me that he wants it cold. It’s my job to know whether he’ll actually eat it cold, and either consent to or deny his request accordingly.
Well, this morning as I was reheating some fried chicken for breakfast, Ethan suddenly started insisting, “Don’t cook my chicken, daddy.” At first I ignored him, but I finally sighed and gave him a cold wing. Of course I knew he wouldn’t like it since he likes to eat the skin, and cold fried chicken skin is gnarly. So all I had to do was wait a minute until he took a bite and announced to me, “Can you cook this, daddy?” Of course I can.
My boys know I love them, and they know I know better than they do. But getting enough credibility with them to trust me just seems like one of those things all parents struggle to achieve. So, they still insist on things I know they won’t like and resist things I know they will like. Now why would God would make children be like that?
Well, this morning as I was reheating some fried chicken for breakfast, Ethan suddenly started insisting, “Don’t cook my chicken, daddy.” At first I ignored him, but I finally sighed and gave him a cold wing. Of course I knew he wouldn’t like it since he likes to eat the skin, and cold fried chicken skin is gnarly. So all I had to do was wait a minute until he took a bite and announced to me, “Can you cook this, daddy?” Of course I can.
My boys know I love them, and they know I know better than they do. But getting enough credibility with them to trust me just seems like one of those things all parents struggle to achieve. So, they still insist on things I know they won’t like and resist things I know they will like. Now why would God would make children be like that?
Thought of the Day 10.05.09
Americans love their rights. Unfortunately, too many Americans don’t understand what rights are for. They commonly think that rights exist so we can do whatever we want to do. Although this is what it means to have a right, it is never the reason God gave us that right. In truth, rights are always given to protect the most virtuous use of a freedom, not just any use of it.
For instance, property rights are not granted by God just so we can do whatever selfish things we like with our money. Instead, God gives us property rights so that we can use them to imitate Him by helping other people through interpersonal charity. We must be free to be selfish, but the purpose of that freedom is for us to not be selfish.
See, it’s a good thing to remind the world that we have God-given rights and to demand that a society protect them. But it’s an even better thing to remind people why God gave us those rights in the first place. Because when enough of us don’t use them properly, we make the best case against ourselves for having them taken away.
For instance, property rights are not granted by God just so we can do whatever selfish things we like with our money. Instead, God gives us property rights so that we can use them to imitate Him by helping other people through interpersonal charity. We must be free to be selfish, but the purpose of that freedom is for us to not be selfish.
See, it’s a good thing to remind the world that we have God-given rights and to demand that a society protect them. But it’s an even better thing to remind people why God gave us those rights in the first place. Because when enough of us don’t use them properly, we make the best case against ourselves for having them taken away.
Thought of the Day 10.02.09
Phil Helmuth is one of the most successful poker players in the world, winning eleven World Series of Poker bracelets, including the main event twice. He’s also a grade-A, mind-bogglingly world-class jerk. His self-embraced nickname is “The Poker Brat,” and the only problem with this is how badly it understates the case. He berates opponents if he beats them, but he berates them twice as much if they beat him. In his mind, everything he does is perfect, and nothing anyone else ever does is worthy of his presence at the table.
I’d like to say I pity him, but the truth is closer to despising him, and I wish I never had to watch him ever again. My greatest hope in the world for him is that he would somehow learn to act like a decent human being. In wistful moments, I even imagine how I might effectively confront him if I were at the table. Though I might be inclined to needle him, I hope I could somehow penetrate his idiocy and get him to behave up to the standards we expect from kindergarteners.
And that’s the problem.
In a tournament filled with thousands of players, the vast majority of whom are clearly sinners lost without a faith in Jesus Christ, my biggest annoyance is Phil Helmuth…actually acting like a sinner. Apparently I have failed to grasp the Gospel, since my great hope isn’t that Phil would encounter Christ, but that he would learn to behave, more effectively hiding his sinfulness by pretending to be good…just like everybody else. It’s just so easy to care about decency rather than faith.
Thought of the Day 10.01.09
My wife recently checked out a book that happened to have someone’s drivers license and insurance cards stuck in it. We immediately contacted the library to tell them. Then we returned the book and the cards, making sure to notify the librarian about the situation. She seemed truly impressed with us for being so diligent.
But I wasn’t impressed with us at all. In our view, anything less would have been reprehensible. We just thought we were doing the minimum for decent citizens. Hence, praise felt a bit awkward.
Now, rationally, I know we live in a society where people often don’t satisfy such minimums. But maybe our basic problem lies in having allowed them to think that such low-grade civic obligations are optional.
People will always live within whatever range of options seem acceptable. Thus, there is a vast motivational difference between believing that an action is a very good thing and believing that the failure to do such action is a really awful thing. We simply must not confuse basics with virtues.
But I wasn’t impressed with us at all. In our view, anything less would have been reprehensible. We just thought we were doing the minimum for decent citizens. Hence, praise felt a bit awkward.
Now, rationally, I know we live in a society where people often don’t satisfy such minimums. But maybe our basic problem lies in having allowed them to think that such low-grade civic obligations are optional.
People will always live within whatever range of options seem acceptable. Thus, there is a vast motivational difference between believing that an action is a very good thing and believing that the failure to do such action is a really awful thing. We simply must not confuse basics with virtues.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
